When you’re young just starting out shaping your family you don’t plan on making the same mistakes your parents did. Yet before I knew it I married the wrong guy and was divorced five years later.

He remarried the day our divorce was final, and me, I had my eye on a guy, but I had some hard issues that this God that I always prayed to as a child needed to shed a ray of hope on. I had always waited on the sidelines of life hopeful that there was something worthy in me, that there could be beauty in my life from this road I’ve been handed.

I had to get on my knees and choose God, and let go of my life. He had to rescue me and I had to seek His embrace instead of that of another man.

That saving came after I spend months with a group of hurting women who like me needed therapy from a childhood of sexual abuse, God had to resurrect my heart. I didn’t want to remain the same person I was. Hurt. I’d spent my life guarding my heart and its been time to turn my heart inside out and surrender my soul.

Some think that having a guarded heart from the world makes you brave, maybe even invincible. But I’ve found even now, after almost twenty-one years of marriage to that guy I had my eye on and five girls later that living like you’re on a deserted island isn’t living courageous. Its just helps you get through your day.

It’s hard to stand grounded when life’s shifting underneath me, when I’m so tired I can barely keep my mind focused and my eyes open. Jesus calls us to cast all our cares on Him, yet does that mean we’re supposed to simply rest in the unseen?

God sees in us the person we should be, and we can begin the transformation that rises us above the ashes, above the pain from our past, the nothingness that makes sit in our silence. When we’re willing to trust Him through the pain were proving our love to Him. It’s easy to take from God. Take His salvation, His promises. How about the hardships? The seasons that make us step out onto the ledge? Are we willing to accept those too?

He takes the broken heart with all its doubt and makes it His home cleaning out the insecurities that I have latched onto over the years and exchanges it with all that I was made for.

I know that I’m not the only one raising her hand admitting shame and failures. God’s got an invitation to satisfy the hopeless and the weak, you don’t have to pretend to always be brave. You’ve got a God Who has stepped in as your Supplier of life you no longer have to pick yourself up piece by piece anymore. His love is enough.
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