I’m not the type to cause strife, so I remain silent not only with my words but also with how I feel. I’m not one to force my husband to choose me over his widowed mom…so I bite my lip.
Disappointment from my past
For more than a decade we’ve lived with my mother-in-law, and for the better part of that time I’ve remained voiceless, surrendering to silence and choosing to forgive harsh words and actions toward me and my girls more than seventy x’s seven.
I’ve pressed hard into the Word for the reason I would rather have my thoughts consumed by Scripture rather than consumed by betrayal believing that honor trumps a vow.
God doesn’t want my trials to keep me captive, and nor does He want my desires of moving out of my current location push me into a ditch of destruction. God will rescue me, that’s what He does. He rescues His people and moves them like water when He chooses the timing.
For now I wait patient trying to not become pulled by my desires…expecting Him to immediately fix the situation, instead He wants to fix my heart. When I show self-control over my pity-parties, God is able to transform my ache into joyful hope.
I’ve learned in this season of silence that God makes no promises to protect me from adversity in this world. He does promise me the power to believe in His goodness when bad things happen. It is in that promise that my painful thirst can be quenched.
God has given me doors to express to my husband the disappointment in how we’ve been treated yet I also know that being verbal in the heat of heartbreak isn’t what’s best in all situations.
Like Christ during His final days He remained silent in the suffering knowing that on the backside God was going to reveal Himself by working a miracle.
I believe that God will give me a voice on the backside of this season, able to come along side women who are desperate for a friend to cheer them on through their hushed-hopelessness into finding JOY in life’s JOURNEY.
Source: New feed