When I first began to write I use to get up around 3:00 in the morning because I felt this calling to put words together on a computer screen to encourage hurting women, even though in school my grades where less than satisfactory. I’m learning that God takes the less than sufficient and somehow works it into something worthwhile.
Every weekday without an alarm set it would just me and Him and I would devote that time to read, study and write. No one understood my passion and I quickly learned unspoken ground rules that I as long as I balanced the home and family I was able to live this dual life.
And my small offerings to God became published, bigger dreams of writing grew, and so did the tension between my family and me.
My sense of community of friends shrunk as I had another baby and life demanded more of my time. I longed to write and was growing frustrated as dreams faded into the background and I was wishful for a cloud of witnesses, cheerleaders to support my efforts encouraging me to press on toward a goal. Instead my family pressed in on demands and I heard rumblings, protesting my time on the computer.
I questioned God’s plan, and my soul would whisper, “Who do you think you are? No one is interested in your message, you’re not worthy to be chosen.” So I quit writing.
The trash became my advocate, the one supporter that seemed to make the most sense when you’re feeling worthless, when you feel like you’ve got nothing to offer, and I tossed all that I’d strived for in the trash, silenced.
Those moments of lostness right before the holidays in 2012, I begged God to show me what His plan was, for Him to step in and make this seesaw of writing to become clear. It was cold and rainy, I had the fireplace on sitting at my computer, a God’s appointed timing when I came across (in)courage on Facebook maybe it was Holley Gerth,? In the post was a challenge that dared me the next time an opportunity arises to be brave and become a part of something bigger and jump in.
I have been on several book launch teams the past year and half, these ladies that intermingle between blog posts and life have become my place of community, a safe place to share and grow as a writer, as a woman, investing in others, praying for another through life.
Source: New feed